Last Post

Yo…

this is my last post in this blog.

I’ll not write here again.

Yes, this is part of my random act this week.

I write too much here in this blog. I’ll continue in another blog, but I haven’t made it.

My new blog will be talked about general things, never about my silly feeling again,

I remember a year ago, I became so talkative in this blog, talk about my feeling, my lost, actually.

When I read again and again, I’m so lost, but now I will find my way to happiness, never ever let anyone to make me down like that again, never! Only once, just one.

See ya…


Collecting memories…then bury them all #RandomAct

I’m very bad to let something go.
I don’t know why, maybe just my nature.
But now, in this week, I will do that.
I’ll collect them all, then simply bury it.

See ya memories …


Disconnect to Connect #RandomAct

My random act for next week is : Disconnect from all my online application, except email.
I will not touch FB, YM, LiveMessenger for a week. I’ve already not touch twitter since long time  ago.
Twitter is happening, but I just don’t get it. Too much information I think. So I simply dump my twitter.

Why disconnect?
I want to focus what I have in front of me. My works, dreams, families, friends.
I want to touch them with conventional way. That’s all.

So, see ya …


Happy Birthday!!

Hey you,

Happy birthday!!
I hope all the best for you, for your life, study, and your career.
I believe you will have a great life and God will always bless you.
Be a woman you want to be, and I hope you will found someone that fully understand you.
I’m sorry I can’t give you anything,  What I can give to you is my prayers and this one:

H A P P Y  B I R T H D A Y ! ! !


Keep Walking

Moving on is easier to be said than to do it.
Almost a year we broke up, but I don’t know why I still do care about her.
I’m trying and keep trying but the emptiness still there.
Sometimes I feel like I’m escaping not facing the problem.

I’m trying to fall in love again.
but, love is out of my radar now.
I don’t know how to start it, even I don’t what it is.

But here I am, standing in front of the mirror
Told myself, “I can face this, and my life will gonna be awesome, any form of effort never pointless.”
Past is past and I’ve learnt from it.
Keep trying, keep walking, never looking back.

 


Compromising

Sometimes I’m so stubborn, everybody stubborn.

But sometimes we need to compromise with many things, especially when it costs your relationship.


Erasing Life

Erasing life.
Is it possible? It doesn’t mean killing someone or something. I’m not a killer.
Now I have plenty time to manage my social network apps (only Facebook actually, I ignored my G+)
I managed to keep my friend circle small, and un-tagging some photos (really time consuming).
Erasing tag is not hard, just click remove tag. That’s it.
She has removed my photos from her album long time ago, but I haven’t erase hers at all, I just set the privacy to ‘only me’. it means only me can see the photos.
Time has come to do it. Yeah it really hard and hurt, but I must, I have to. For my sake.
Erase one by one is like I killing part of my life, slowly but sure. It pain me, but once again I have to.
I don’t want these photo hold me back from everything, and I don’t want someday our partner get mad/angry because our photo still exists. I keep some, which are not showing we ever have a beautiful relationship.  Maybe I skipped some, but yeah let it be that way.
Even our photos now are gone, but the memories still exists as long as we remember, doesn’t it?

A: it means you still love her?

What’s love, brother? I don’t know what love is.
Friend of mine said : Love is when a word ‘Like’ not even enough to describe your feeling.
but for me, love is one word that everyone have  own definition.
I will enjoy my life, no pressure to have a date in short time, no pressure to get married soon (I hope to get married when I 27/28, so I will still young enough to play with my children), making new friends, travelling around the world, get my dream job, and blah blah blah.

one of my friend sent me a video, the title is “Won’t even start”, damn I don’t know why she send me this link in a time like this.
but, yeah here is, a song for me and for her.

I wish you luck
And I wish it true
Thats the best
I can do for you

Cuz youll probably find love
In someone new
I have to let go
Yeah its hard to do


My letter to God

Aku masih bisa bernafas, melihat,mendengar, berbicara, berjalan, meraba dengan normal. Terimakasih.
Keluarga yang lengkap, saudara-saudara, teman-teman, sahabat-sahabat, pekerjaan. Terimakasih.
25 tahun yang penuh dengan lika-liku kehidupan, kebahagiaan, kebingungan, kesedihan. Terimakasih.
Kejutan-kejutan yang KAU berikan  yang tiada hentinya membuat ku terkagum-kagum. Terimakasih.

Tahun ini adalah tahun yang penuh dengan kejutan dan kebingungan buat ku, tapi terimakasih Tuhan sampai detik ini KAU masih menyertaiku. Aku tidak tahu akan kemana KAU akan membawaku, tapi aku percayakan semua jalanku pada MU. Aku yakin bahwa KAU akan menunjukkan jalan yang terbaik buat ku, untuk itu Tuhan sadarkanlah aku apabila aku lupa akan kasih MU, lupa bahwa ini semua boleh terjadi hanya karena kehendak MU.

Tuhan di hari ulang tahun ku ini masih banyak harapan dan permintaan ku pada MU, namun aku serahkan pada MU, mana yang boleh terkabul terlebih dahulu, karena KAU lah yang Maha Tahu akan kebutuhan ku.

Aku berdoa untuk kedua orang tua ku, berkatilah mereka selalu, lancarkan rejeki mereka, dan juga berilah kesehatan dan umur panjang pada mereka. Aku berdoa untuk kakak-adikku, dimanapun mereka berada, apapun yang sedang mereka usahakan supaya dapat terkabul dan sesuai dengan kehendak MU. Aku berdoa juga untuk saudara-saudara ku yang lain yang jarang aku sapa, biarlah KAU selalu memberkati mereka selalu. Tidak lupa aku berdoa untuk teman-temanku, sahabat-sahabatku yang ada di manapun, yang sedang berusaha merajut mimpi-mimpi mereka, biarlah KAU menyertai mereka selalu. Aku secara khusus berdoa juga untuk Agata, semoga dalam perjalanan nya dalam meraih mimpi nya dia akan selalu menemukan yang terbaik. Terimakasih Tuhan kau pernah mempertemukan kami, terimakasih untuk pesan yang KAU sampaikan melalui dia dan keluarganya. Aku sangat bersyukur dan berterimakasih untuk kenangan yang boleh aku alami. Tuhan, berkati juga keluarganya, biarlah kedua orang tuanya semakin menjadi berkat untuk sesama, dan juga adiknya biarlah dia menemukan dan dapat meraih mimpi-mimpinya.

Tuhan, akhirnya aku mengembalikan semua nya kepada MU, pakailah aku sebagai alatmu, biarlah yang terjadi adalah kehendak MU bukan kehendak ku. Ajari aku supaya lebih percaya lagi kepada jalan MU. Aku ingin hidup dalam Iman, harapan, dan kasih. Terimakasih Tuhan untuk 25 tahun yang KAU berikan pada ku.


pieces of memories

I went to mangdu this afternoon by myself, my friends couldn’t accompany me, they had something to do. That’s not a big deal. I’m getting used to go by myself. Suddenly I remember the 1st time I go to mangdu is with her. Damn! I don’t know why that memory just popped up. It’s not for the 1st time the memories pop up. Every time when I go to someplace that we used to go, the memories comes.

Citos, PIM, Blok M, Pejanten (was our fav), TA, CL, you named it.  Almost big mall in we have visited. The funny things is every mall that we have visited, the 1st memory is LOST. Yeah I’m bad at navigation sometimes(almost) we lost, and she would yelled to me : “Tuh kan..”

A: Oh man, are u kidding me?? Do you still remember her? Seriously??? Get a life, man!! Move on!!!

Yeah I will, but I can’t just erase the memories, can we?


Monday : Thanksgiving

My best day last week was Friday. I went to my old company to return some documents. I really miss the environment, colleagues. I have so many friends over there. I was happy, they still remember me and they surprised with my presence, hahahahaha.

Now I’m working in different company with  different culture,  I don’t know why, but I feel comfortable working here, like I supposed to be working here. I’m still working in IT Area, but focus only on reporting and data.   There is no more daily basis like fixing data, bla bla bla. So if we look from the work load, in this company the work load less than the old one, but if we look from the scope, the responsibility is bigger.

I met new friends, and they are so welcome to me, the supervisor have give me some responsible, that makes me feel so useful. But the interesting thing is I can exercise my English everyday (listening, writing, and speaking), since my English not good enough, lol. Hopefully this company fulfill my expectation. Hopefully. Thanks God.


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